pretending...

Have you ever tried to play pretend with a diva?
( A diva in the sense that she is the tippity top talent in the pretend world.)
I mean, you might think you are cool and down with all that...lets face it you can pretend suck a milkshake with oscar nominating sucks...but you cannot match pretend wits with this little diva.

Not by a longshot.

This is how it goes.
She comes to you and asks if you would like some fried eggs. Of course you would.
She knows this.
Bringing out the egg cartons you are suitably pleased to see that there are colored eggs inside. Colored of the easter egg variety. Pretty.
She asks which ones you would like. It has been determined that you would like two. So, you choose pink and blue.
But wait. She brings something from behind her back. You didn't see the other dozen. Wow! Swirly ones. Ok, you deliberate and pick pink and yellow swirly.
It is suggested that you might like the purple instead of pink. It is white chocolate mint ice-cream flavor.
Well, duh.
Off to cook, she hums a happy tune and presently brings back an empty plate. Now you might think that strange, especially if you know for certain that there are like five hundred some odd types of plastic food lurking in the bowels of that kitchen.
Still, you say nothing cuz, hello, this is pretend.
You know the rules. You pick up the knife and cut the eggs then proceed to eat them with a spoon.
mmmmmm....so yummy. She smiles.
Would you like a drink?
Why yes, yes I would.
Would you like lemonade? It comes in lotsa flavors like cherry, and raspberry, and lime. Lime- lemonade is very good.
Hmmmm...you know, I would like to try lime lemonade. That sounds delicious.
But wait...she says...you didn't choose blueberry. It is the very best.
Oh. I didn't know blueberry was an option because you didn't say it.
(Well, obviously I wasn't listening cuz it was listed. Blueberry is always an option.)
Evidently.

She was right, blueberry is delicious.
She suggests that I might cut my eggs with the provided knife. I point out that I did, in fact, cut my eggs already. whatever.
mmmming along, I hold my plate just so as to not get food on my laptop. I even remember my mmming and find chewing motions continue long after she returns to the other room.

Finished with my blueberry lemonade I am now offered another choice of beverage.
I choose water. It is what I drink usually.
Eyes roll. She smiles.
Mommy, this is pretend, you don't do usual in pretend.
Well, in that case, I choose a double chocolate milkshake.
sluuuuuuuuuuurp. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!